Even though I am a bona fide veteran myself, Veteran’s Day usually stirs up in me a keen sense of imposture syndrome.
From the time I graduated from college in 1978 until the summer of 1981, I served as a Field Artillery officer with the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault). My artillery skills were actually pretty good. Map reading was never an issue for me, unlike many lieutenants. I could calculate firing data quite well – some of which involved applied trigonometry and calculus. (I was not then, and I am still not now, a math guy.) I swear I could still step up to an aiming circle (basically a survey transit) and lay a battery of howitzers. I could adjust indirect fire adequately enough – and that was actually great fun.
But I was not much of a soldier.
In the morning, I would shine my boots, but they would somehow be scruffed up before I finished the last of my coffee. My uniform was wrinkled by the time I got into my car at 0500. Frequently, I had issues distinguishing right and left, which can be kind of embarrassing when it comes to drill and ceremony. Going left when the command is “right face” makes for an awkward moment.
Shortly before leaving active duty, the battalion Sergeant Major, a rather colorful veteran of multiple tours in Vietnam, told me that he liked me – primarily because I would bend the rules and get things done – but it was a good thing I was getting out of the Army. He described me as a “natural born civilian.”
The Sergeant Major’s assessment transiently offended me, but he was right. It was a good thing I was getting out and going to law school.
During law school, I was in the Virginia Army National Guard. I needed the money, frankly, To my shock, in that environment I was considered a “hard core, Regular Army asshole.” No doubt my old Sergeant Major and others from the 101st would have laughed heartily at hearing that description.
Even with my newfound perception as a “strac” officer, my personality and style were still not a good fit in that environment. In my last year, I was assigned to command a battery. (The attached picture was taken when I was in that role.) I was reasonably successful, and I enjoyed being in charge. However, I will always remember one drill weekend where first thing in the morning I got a personal commendation from the commanding general, and then three hours later I was relieved (i.e., fired) by my battalion commander. (I had a rather pointed dispute with him.) Right before the end of the day, I was called back to his office and unrelieved. My interactions with the leadership were uneven – to put it nicely. I didn’t play well with others.
When I finished law school, I ended my military career. That was the right move, most definitely.
Being a trial lawyer is a far better place for me than the Army ever would have been. Even so, for over 25 years my firm has represented veterans and military families all over the country in FTCA malpractice cases. In a funny way, I still feel a close connection to that military world. Growing up in a Navy family has had a lot to do with that also.
My point on this Veterans Day is to remind people that we veterans come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Sometimes, when I get a “thank you for your service” remark, I want to say, “the Army thanks me for leaving its service.” Be that as it may, like millions of others I served.
It’s good to acknowledge and thank our veterans. They deserve it – even natural born civilians like me.
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